So Close

We are making our first steps away from dysfunction.

We aren't quite to fully functioning.

But we're getting close.

About a month ago, my grandmother mentioned to my mother that she had seen a house for rent along the highway just outside of the town we live in. My mother and I investigated said house. Unfortunately (or so it seemed), the house was NOT for rent, but it was for sale. Upon seeing the sign, my mother was ready to give up. I persuaded her to continue to look around the outside of the house and to take down the number and call the owner.

About a week passed without mention of the house.

One day, I asked my mother if she had contacted the owner of the house. She had and had set up a date with them on which they would show the house to her. I insisted my mother take me along. With some persuasion, she agreed once more.

We returned to the house. It wasn't a big house, but it had three rooms (perfect!) a semi-finished basement (awesome!) and a huge kitchen (fantastic!). The woman who owned the house said she would be willing to rent if my mother would give her a credit report and a reference from our current land lord.

This worried my mother. "I don't have good credit" she fretted. "Stella likes us and all, but we've been behind on rent so many times..."

Another week and we had the credit report and the reference in the mail to the woman who owned the house.

Stella, our current land lady, read the letter she sent as our reference over the phone to my mother. According to my mother, the reference was more than good. It was fantastic, better than we deserved, my mom claimed.

The next week, we were gone for a few days. My mother stayed home due to sickness so my sister and I went with my aunt and cousin to visit relatives in Illinois.

On our return, I asked my mom if she had heard anything.

"The woman called me..." She hesitated, looking to make sure my father was out of earshot, "she said she is going to be gone this week, on a trip..." She hesitated again, looking very solemn, I prepared myself for bad news, "but when she returns... She's going to.... Write up a lease..." She smiled.

Tears leapt to my eyes. At last. At last, we were so close, closer than we had ever dreamed of being! I hugged my mother, tears streaming silently down my face.

***

And, now, we are here. We await the return of the woman who owns the house. When she comes back, my mom will review the lease with her. Assuming all goes well, we should be moved in by May. I have hated the walls of this house for more than four years now. And I have longed to leave behind the man who is my biological father. I have held on for so long to just the idea, just the dream, just the small glimmer of hope, that it is hard for me to grasp the reality of this development.

We're just so close...